Settle for a draw

It’s raining outside, I’m on the subway. The year is 2016, it doesn’t look like it. But then again, what does a year look like? Doesn’t matter, I’m listless to time. Drowsy and toneless. Frustrated, I guess, but it’s probably because of the time. It’s about 7:43 p.m. and the twilight lasts to end. I’m tired, but out of nowhere, Spiderland comes in – wonder perks of shuffle. My oh my, the timing, breadcrumb trail.. math rock has a way with laid-back moments. It’s oh so perfect. The train surfaces for a bit. The skies are red, the clouds are violet and I’m about to fall asleep. Haha, I wish, nosferatu man won’t let me. Pitty not, this song is caffeine, and caffeine is healthy.. right? He’s kind of creepy, the yellow tie doesn’t match the puzzled eyes. What am I saying, the train goes back underground, two stations left.

People are deserted, the subway makes them bitter, and the light, ‘bitterer’. Such sorrow. I look at them, they’re mirrors. I finally exit the subway, Don stepped outside, it felt good to be alone. Mild rain falling, it’s darker. My eyes are not used to it and my mind wanders into a fallout. I walk between some cypresses. Slint, is this a graveyard? Wild rain falling, washer. The process of soaking is pretty post-hardcore.. heavy water, for poison draining. I try to walk home, my footsteps match perfectly to the bass line. I’m actually flying, wow. Fill your pockets with the dust and the memory, that rises from the shoes on my wet feet. I arrive home, I know it’s dark inside and I’m afraid – oh, apathetic no more? I land on my bed, room’s an ocean of socks and empty cigar boxes. There’s wine too, for dinner… I close my eyes, guess I’m fasting tonight. Sleep is a bless – mind fades away and everything stops making sense. Soul melting. Soul charging. The storm outside lulls me into to my own samsara.

I wake up, good morning, captain. 7h43 a.m., skies are clear and I’m feeling better. Life is but a game, I think I should settle for a draw.

Monk Berkemeier


psst, here.



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